Clueless
by EE's Skysong
Summary: When the girls give Rahne a makeover, Sam accidentally offends her. Rahne's pissed, Sam still doesn't get what he did wrong, and everyone else is trying to get them to wake up. Basically, they're clueless. Rahm, sweet and fluffy.


Disclaimer: "I think you broke Sam." "If all it takes to break him is me taking off my shirt, well, then he wasn't really cut out to be an X-man in the first place, was he?"

(An: This fic is thanks to Cassy (silversneverbeenbetter for those of you at the pit) who told me to write a Rahm with a Sango/Miroku-esque plot... don't ask. The beginning bit in this was inspired by an incident in the comics, but the rest is all me... think of it as the way things should've gone, heheh. Oh, yeah, and the description of Rahne was made by Cassy too.)

Sam wasn't sure how it'd happened. But, then again, Sam was never sure how anything much happened around the Institute.

He'd been outside, looking for a baseball and pretty far from the Institute, when he'd heard the yell for lights out. _Aw, man, Ah'll never make it in time..._ He cannonballed, but still missed them locking the doors and slammed up against them. "Damn," he muttered. He leaned against the door with a sigh. "Of all the days to leave mah key in the house." Now he'd have to sit and wait for somebody to come along and have mercy on him.

They were locking the doors early tonight thanks to the girls having a party, partially to keep unwanted guests out... but mainly to keep the effects in. Already Sam could hear yelling, explosions, and other commonplace things.

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER...

Sam had been sitting there for what felt like hours. Whatever the girls were doing were keeping them all away from the front exit, and thus the only easy, non-punishment-duty-getting way into the 'stute Sam could think of.

Then he heard voices. _Oh thank GOD!_ Sam hammered on the doors. "Hey, guys, lemme in!"

A beautiful (and rather annoyed-looking) girl answered the door. She was standing there, heavily made up, her coppery red hair barely brushing her shoulders. She was wearing a short, shiny green dress, with a choker and matching green heels. Sam stared.

She raised one eyebrow and Sam remembered how stupid he looked when he was just staring at something. He straightened up, turning red. "Ah- uh, didn't know we were havin' other girls over," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Couldya let me in?"

She frowned and stepped aside.

"Um..." he said, trying not to stare now that he was inside, "you, uh, you look really nice in that."

"Samuel Zachary Guthrie!" the girl snapped. She slapped him on the cheek and walked off in a huff.

Sam rubbed the slap mark, blinking. "...Oh mah God," he said after a minute. "**Rahne**?"

Feeling (and he hadn't thought this was possible) even more embarrassed than he had before, Sam walked up to his room, still utterly confused.

IN THE COMMON ROOM...

The girls's party was in full swing. Jubilee paused in surreptitiously flicking popcorn at the back of Jean's head to look around. She flicked Amara in the back of the head. "Hey, where's Rahne?"

Amara looked up from her magazine and gave the room a cursory glance. She shrugged. "I dunno. She went to answer the door and didn't come back, I guess."

Jubes kicked Kitty, who was on the floor painting her nails. "You seen Rahne?"

"Not since we had the makeovers, no..." Kitty paused, tapping her lips with a newly scarlet finger. "Maybe she went to change. C'mon, let's go, like, find her."

Jubilee and Kitty walked out through the swarm of partying girls.

They found Rahne in the main bathroom, scrubbing the last of the makeup from her face. "Hey, girl," said Jubilee. "You aren't mad, are you?"

Rahne glared at her reflection. "Nae at ye two, no."

Jubilee slid onto the counter, swinging her legs. "Well, then, who?"

Rahne literally growled. She slammed the towel into the sink. "At that- that- **him**!"

"Rahne, honey, you're going to have to be more specific," Kitty said, her expression dry. "The boys in this place mess up so much that it's hard to tell them apart from a pronoun."

Rahne sighed, washing her hands and pulling off the necklace. "He- it was Sam."

Jubilee and Kitty gave appreciative winces.

"I mean- ye guys know and everything- he was just downright **mean**! Makin' fun of me..."

"What'd he do?"

"Well," Rahne began, undoing the straps on her heels, "first, when I answered the door, he just stared at me."

"What's wrong with that?" Jubilee demanded. "That was the whole point of giving you a makeover, Wolfy- to get the guys to stare."

"That's nae it!" Rahne replied, leaning against the wall, her accent thickening. "So then he pretended nae to recognize me! And then he said I looked... really nice..." She buried her face in her hands, as red as her hair.

Jubilee and Kitty exchanged confused glances, and then shrugged. "Sweety," said Kitty. "I think that maybe Sam really didn't recognize you- he was outside while we were redoing you, remember?"

"Oh, yeah right," Rahne responded. "You guys **know** how I feel about Sam- it's not funny!" And she turned and dashed out of the room.

Kitty blinked. Jubes snapped her gum.

"Sometimes, I **really** don't understand her," Jubilee said.

IN RAHNE'S ROOM...

Rahne pulled off the dress and changed into her pajamas. Amara was downstairs with the other girls, of course. She stared at herself in the mirror, her hair still down. She scowled, and headed downstairs, resolving to think no more of that **boy**.

IN SAM'S ROOM...

Sam was lying on his bed, staring at the floor, listening to Bobby and Jamie play slapjack on the bed next to his. He blinked, realizing Bobby was talking to him. "Dude, where were you?"

Sam blinked. "...What?"

"We're heading into spaaaace," Bobby warbled. "We're leaving mother Eaaaarth..."

Sam kicked him. "Shut up."

"So your brain's back from vacay?"

"Ah wasn't on 'vacay', Ah was thinkin'."

"Didja sprain something?"

Sam rolled over onto his back. "Come off it, man."

Bobby obliged and rolled off the bed, grinning.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Lame."

Bobby crawled over and poked him. "Seriously, what's up?"

"Ah honestly don't know."

Bobby gave him the WTF eyebrow.

Sam rolled back over on his stomach, propping his chin on his fist. "Ah don't understand it."

"Elaborate, Captain."

Sam sighed. "Ok, but ya gotta promise to actually **listen**, and not just stare at me like Ah'm a total idiot."

"Well, that won't be hard- I already do that all the time anyway!"

Sam glared at him.

Bobby held up his hands and backed off. "All right, all right." He made a zipping gesture across his lips.

"The reason Ah wasn't in the mansion and all was 'cause Ah got locked out. Ah didn't wanna get any more punishment duty, so, ya know, Ah had to wait for somebody to come on and let me in. So this **gorgeous** girl answers the door- Ah didn't recognize her! Really! And Ah said she looked nice, and she slapped me and walked off! It wasn't until five minutes later, of course, that Ah remembered that the only girl around here who knows mah middle name is Rahne."

Bobby winced. "Dude. She slapped **and** middle-named you? Harsh."

Sam nodded. "Ah'd go apologize or somethin', but Ah don't really know what Ah did wrong..."

Bobby stared at him, looking skeptical.

"What?"

"Oh, come on, nobody's **that** clueless, spare maybe the squirt over there."

Jamie looked up from his cards (he'd turned to solitaire). "Hey! Just because I was totally beating you at this is no reason to call me short!"

Bobby rolled his eyes and ignored him. He sat up, putting his hands on his knees and facing Sam.

"What're you talking about?"

Bobby gaped, open-mouthed. "...You really **don't** know, do you."

"Know what!"

"Dude, Rahne has had a crush on you the size of Jersey since she met you."

...Sam's eye twitched.

"I think you broke Sam," Jamie said gravely.

"For once, I agree with you, squirt," said Bobby, waving his hand in front of Sam's face. No response, except from Jamie, who shot him a death glare. "Earth to Hick Wonder, paging Hick Wonder."

Sam blinked. "...You ain't serious."

"Everyone else in the mansion knows, man, even the squirt!"

"Would you STOP calling me squirt!"

"You **ain't** serious."

Bobby poked him. "Man, you're thick. You're, like, the most clueless guy in the mansion... except the squirt of course."

"ARGH!" Jamie gave up, throwing his cards in the air. There was a vein throbbing in his temple. He made three dupes and they all tackled Bobby, dragging him off.

The original Jamie paused in the doorway, listening to Bobby's mumbling. "I think Bobby's trying to say that you should go talk to Rahne." He waved, and walked off, visions of toilet paper cocoons and blackmail dancing in his head.

Sam's eye twitched a little more. _Rahne... me... does not compute, DOES NOT COMPUTE!_ He pressed his hands against his eyes, swearing under his breath. _Ok, Guthrie, GET A GRIP. Bobby says she likes you. She ran off mad 'cause you complimented her. You think she's pretty. Really pretty. And nice. What do you do next?_

Sam flipped off the bed and went to find her.

OUTSIDE...

Rahne ran her hands through her hair. She'd left it down- the only thing she'd really felt comfortable about the "makeover" was letting her hair down. The makeup, the dress, the heels, they weren't her. But this, the free feeling of the wind in her hair, was.

She didn't feel like going downstairs and getting grilled by the other girls or something. She just wanted to be alone for a while.

She wandered out by the forest and found a convenient rock, curling up atop it and staring up at the stars. _I don't understand that boy... I've had a crush on him since the moment I saw him, so why is he always so weird? He doesn't... _know, aye, but that's no reason for him to treat me like this!

Rahne smelled him before she heard or saw him- that clean, boy smell that he always had. She judged people by smell, and his smell was part of the reason she liked him so much. She enjoyed her enhanced senses because they meant she could smell him without having to get too close or look weird. She sat straight up, green eyes wide.

Sam paused. "Uh... Rahne?"

Rahne drew her knees up to her chest and hid her face. "Aye?"

"Are you still mad?"

"..."

Sam approached, cautious. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Look, Ah'm sorry 'bout what happened earlier- Ah didn't know it was you, really... but Ah meant it."

Rahne glanced up at him. "Sam, I... uh..."

Sam sat down behind her and pulled her into a hug. He rested his head on her shoulder.

Rahne shut up and leaned back against him.

And Sam **finally** had some idea of what was going on.

(That was SO fun to write... anyway, review!)


End file.
